another therapy session at the beauty shop

so today at the beauty shop was one of those days where people decide to tell you everything. in a 30 minute sitting you go from meeting someone for the first time to knowing how many kids they have, usually they either absolutely adore there husbands or they let you know they see divorce in there future. you know where they are from and why they are now here, whether its visiting or moved down from some northern cold state. i myself have found that i guess women just need someone who knows nothing about them prior too the appointment's advice if you will. need i remind you i'm usually at least half there age and hello i myself am going thru a divorce so therefore some would say i have no room to give advice. nonetheless they still like to tell me there personal business. so with shears in hand i listen and nod. if i do not agree i definitely let them know but in a nice way. 


todays incident went as follows. a daughter of one of my regulars came in for the first time. she is 40 and married with a little girl and one on the way. very nice lady, and must i say i never would have guessed she was 40, she looked wonderful and had an amazing body. at first it started out normal, shampoo, haircut the usual. however somewhere between the blow dry and her paying i learned that she is extremely unhappy with her husband. reason being she thinks he should do more, work harder, his goals and ambition just went out the window since they have been married. okay so that sounds like what 70% of couples. well the problem as i found out a few minutes later is not necessarily her husband alone, but she has a male friend who she formally worked with and still keeps in touch with frequently. he also is married with children, the difference here is he is telling her hes made the decision to go back to school and get his masters, he has a teriffic job, wonderful pay. so after she gets off the phone to him she then feels as if her husband isnt doing all he could be. which makes her think the grass is greener on the other side. she went on to say how her husband worked late the other night and had to drive home even later and expected praise for it. where she felt like he was an idiot with poor planning. there is definitely a communication barrier there. i said well maybe you just need to compliment him on working hard and then he will like the praise and continue to keep it up. but she is too far gone and said she will never do that. 


all that said i think with what i have read and know from experience, sometimes when your spouse isnt doing things perfect or what you think they should be doing you should still try and find something to compliment them on. no matter who it is or why, it is always easier to find things you dont like to complain about and bring up. trust me i can sometimes be the best at this. but i really think the key is everybody wants to feel like someone is proud of them l, or appreciates them. so if you try and maybe start with just going an entire day with only saying positive things to your loved one then it makes them want to be a better person to continue to make you happy. because then that in return makes them happy. no matter how small or big the issue, take the time and try it. i bet you will see a change. a good one for me would be instead of myself always complaining that he is always working and we never do anything, i should be telling him babe i am proud of you, im glad you get up and go to work everyday, it shows that one day if we choose you will be able to provide for us. then it makes them want to work even harder. its almost as if a light bulb went off today when she was telling me her problems, as to say hey you need to look in the mirror and do the same and maybe your relationship will progress. so your homework for the next day is only positive, kind, nice things to your spouse. try and find why you fell in love with them in the first place.