just another venting moment

You were so wonderful. You always will be. You will always be the person I knew, not the person you are now. I tried to run. I tried to tell myself I didn't love you. Truth is I've never loved you more than I do now. I tried to tell myself it would be so much better if I just left. I thought someone else could love me more. I thought there would be someone better. I thought that what I had was nothing to brag about. Its simple really. I just thought the grass was greener on the other side. But what I found out is the grass is greener where you water it. And though I had convinced myself I did everything right, all I knew to do, that I didn't put us in this situation, truth is I did just as much as you. I lay in bed at night for some times hours and reflect on what we had. I lay and wonder what you are doing. If you maybe are thinking of me. If you ever think about me. I have lately realized even more reasons why you were so wonderful. How good I truly had it. How I never had to worry about you. How you would look at me, how you would kiss me, the feelings you use to give me when I waited for you to come home, how we for the most part never were apart. I also think of all the things I would do different given the chance....

I don't know if it was simply a live and learn moment in my life, or maybe one day we will be again and I will love you even more. Whatever happens I have come to terms with it, I am trying my best to depend on God alone to direct my path, and if that means a Mr. & Mrs. Thompson 2.0 then I will do everything in my power to make it all up to you. If it means the RIGHT one, the one who was created for me is still out there, then I hope to take my lessons learned and be a better woman for him. Because there is nothing greater in this life than to LOVE and be LOVED.